25 posts tagged “monday”

{inspired by Fave's discussion with Doctor REALove}

I am so happy and blessed that I'm married...I really am. This is a post I've been thinking about this since downloading and listening to his his "G&SeXtra: Grown Folks ONLY" show. What started off as a question from a young man asking about which direction he should allow his interracial relation to take because of the looks and reactions he's receiving from some Black women and how he feels that when he was single no Black woman in his area would "give him the time of day" spiraled into a heart to heart discussion between Fave and Doctor REALove. It hit home for me, not because of the fact that I have been in a interracial relationship (and not to say at one time or another I haven't tried, I guess I frightened women because of my height and weight, who knows) but what Fave said really hit home for me when it comes some of my sistas in the workplace and how many times they will not speak, make eye contact with many Black men.

Let me say this is not ALL of my beautiful black women but I'm not going to lie, I have witnessed it time and time again when it comes to myself in my workplace today. I am so glad I am not single in this day and time because God forbid if anything would happen to my beautiful queen I think I would go into the priesthood (and I'm not even Catholic). I'm at a age now where at one end of the spectrum it makes me angry and on the other end I can do nothing but laugh when it comes to my beautiful sistas not wanting to say "hello" when passing me in the hallway, not making eye contact, not smiling...I just do not get it. What has we as Black men done to you(Black women) to make you act as if you just spoke we would try and jump your bones right there on the job. I can see if you were walking down the street or if you were in a bad neighbourhood or in a club but you are in the workplace. I have come to a place in my life where now I deliberatly sometimes look and smile at my Black sistas to see if they will make eye contact and just speak and to be honest 8 out of 10 times they will not make any type of jester to speak.

Now I'm a realist and I know some of us brothas are knuckleheads, some of us will try and hump anything with a hole. I know some of us have turned out to be real dawgs and many times my brothas are little boys inside grown men bodies. We sometime want to blame every Black woman for our downfall and in many cases we need to look inwardly...we need to look in the mirror and have a serious conversation with ourselves and ask, "what can I do to make myself a better person, a better man, a better Black man?" I was brought up by a single mom and coming up I did not have not one girlfriend growing up...NOT ONE!!! I tried, believe me I did and time and time again I was shot down but as I grew older and I look back I wasn't really ready for the opposite sex. I know if I would have had my way I would have had upten babies and probably living with my mom sleeping in that same little bed with the poster of Tony Dorsett on the wall.

{that's a lie. I hated the Cowboys so it would have been a poster of Franco Harris on the wall...but anyhow...}

I know some of us Black men have left a bad taste in out Black women mouths but you can not throw out the baby with the bath water. We all are not lepers, we are all not "no-good bastards". Many of us may not the corporate jobs but we work hard, put up with nonsense in the white and blue collar workforce just like you do. What I really loved the conversation between Fave and Doctor REALove was how open and honest she was about having date a White man and how Fave was honest when he dated outside his race...about how he went through the same dilemma the young man was going through and I feel both of them. If a person wished to date outside their race because of "love" so be it but they have to realize what they will face for a lifetime.

All relationships are work...yes work! And to date outside your race that is another culture class because let's be honest dating the opposite sex in my book is "opposite" enough so imagine when you bring someone into your life that is of a different culture. I also feel what DoctorREALove said when saying when you date outside your race because you think one race is better than another that is a problem. That person really, in my opinion does not love themselves and need to take a long, hard look at themselves before bringing someone in their lives.

I think what hurts me when seeing this behavior with some Black women (I have to keep stressing that because I know it's not all of my beautiful sistas) is how cozy they are with White men and will walk right past and not even speak to a brother. I just turned 44 and to me it's like in some ways we are going backwards and not forward. Just last night a sista received a note on her desk...a young man left his number and ask her to "text him". Some of the things she said I understood...she said, "Whoever it was needs to say something face to face...I'm not into playing games." I nodded my head in agreement; but when my sista said, "and besides, I don't date dark men...only light complexion guys." That was a quick, horrific flashback for me circa 1970s and I'm hoping we are not going back to that day and time. Now, she has every right to date only light complextion brothas because as she puts it, "I've only gotten along with light dudes" but at the same time that kind of stings because I went through that coming up because I'm a brown complexion dude and to here that took me back to the days of seeing groups like Switch, The Debarges(wait...they are from the 80s right? anyhow...) I couldn't do anything but shake my head.

To my beautiful sistas out there, I just ask one thing of you...when you see a Brotha in the hallway of your workplace at least speak. I know you have had it hard, I know at times you have been treated badly but sometimes we as people have to be honest with ourselves and say with some of those "losers" I hooked up with, "Did I ignore the warning signs when dating this person?" One thing I know that I know in my 44 years on this earth, God has given women the "golden touch" when it comes to judgment but I'm afraid many times you are lead by your heart and not your head. If your inner voice (I don't care what anyone says, it's the Holy Spirit) is telling you that hey walk away from that person....DO IT!!! If a man, while you are dating insults you on purpose privately or in public...LEAVE HIM ALONE!!! It's not going to get better. If a man puts his hands on your ONCE...leave him alone. You cannot love someone if they do not love themselves.

Okay, that's my rant...I'm getting off my soapbox. I love you my sistas but as the one brother said in "Dairy of a Mad Black Woman" said, "Don't make me pay for the mistakes of how you were treated in past relationships" It's a drain on you and the person that is trying to treat you the way you needed to be treated...like a queen.

{if you have not listened to Fave's podcast it is a MUST!!! Thank you again Fave and DoctorREALove for this insight show}

Yesterday as I was heading to Wal-Mart to pick up a few grocery items and a young man was holding a "Going out of Business" sign in reference to Circuit City out on my main street. Another electronic store, another company being hit in regards to our economy. True, our poor economic situation has played a huge part but here is another thing these companies fail to realize that I have noticed with Circuit City when I went there time and time again...their customer service was some of the worst ever.

I don't know if any executives from this company listened to the customers when it came to complaints. Maybe they did, maybe they didn't; maybe they had "bean counters" weighing the complaints in reference to the revenue that was coming in their hey day and just didn't care but I have said this time and time again, you truly reap what you sow. It may take months, years, decades to catch up with companies but when the bottom falls out it hits hard and many people are caught in the web of not treating customers with respect.

I've worked in customer service and I know there are two sides to every story many times and I will admit their have been time where I could have treated a customer better but for the most part I have always tried to put myself in the consumer's shoes because for me the math was simple: treat a customer with respect, give them your best service and it generates trust, respect, more customers and most important a great reputation for a company and more money for the company. But for Circuit City, as with many of the companies that are going down the tube is how they treated the people that spent money in their stores. Case in point...

In the late 90s I purchased a Palm IIIe and not having it a month the screen began to flicker and it went dead. I had my receipt and took it back to Circuit City and I had to end up going to another store because of the treatment I received from the clerk.

Me: I would like to return this PDA

Clerk: What for?

Me: It died on me

Clerk: Do you have your receipt?

Me: Yes I do...I would like to exchange it

Clerk: We don't have this model in stock

Me: Okay, could I have my money back so I can head to another store

Clerk: It's going to be a 10% restocking fee

Me: I'm going to another Circuit City, you're going to take 10% from me? I haven't had this thing a month and you're not going to give me my full refund?

Clerk: We didn't make the product

Me: But you sell it in your store

At that point I just took the PDA to another Circuit City and mind you he didn't volunteer to call another store to see if they had it in stock. This is the kind of service they gave customers time in and time out. Now I'm not going to lie and say EVERY encounter was bad because it was not but for the most part time and time again I would hear stories of pushy sales associates trying to sale extended warranties, then you had to jump through hoops to have the company act upon the extended warranties they pushed on the customers.

I hate to see anyone lose their job and it's really sad but many times bad customer service is overlooked and overshadowed and it seems that they is not looked into more and it should. I hope with Best Buy they look into treating the customer better and not get smug because Circuit City is going under and Best Buy better be careful because many people now have access to the web (I have to admit I have seen nice computers on The Home Shopping Network and ShopNBC) not to mention Amazon.com, and other online services.

One thing I see Best Buy do that I do not like is trying to sell extra services that the customers don't really need when it comes to computers. You{Best Buy} can keep pushing products on individual and you may see a your profit increase in the short term market but in the long term you may end up like CompUSA and now Circuit City.

Be Careful Best Buy..be very careful.

"i added CNN to my text updates. big mistake. 99% of the stories are either death, tragedy, or corruption. CNN has been deleted! "
~Robert Holiday from Twitter

This tweet summed it up for me in a nutshell. I used to be a CNN/MSNBC junkie (I'm not going to lie, never have been a Fox News watcher and I don't think that will happen any time soon). I had stopped watching our local news years ago because I realized that when you watch this stuff day in and day out you begin to view the world in a very cynical way and I thought by watching world news (so to speak) would be more enlightening for me but as this past year went on these channels for me is just as bad as my local news channel.

For me I have known for years that these news organization is more entertainment and hype than news but when Senator Barack Obama was running for President of the United States I truly saw these stations as what they should be seen as...with a grain of salt. When his[Obama] first began they were against him, then for him, then against him, then for him, then toward the home stretch they began trying to scare us with the "Bradley Effect" and this was not just the Fox Channel. All of the news organization played into this factor as if the voters were just playing along with "Change" but deep down saying that we as people love the "same ol same ol" politics. They tried to say that many young voters were not going to turn out which what they were saying in so many words, "young people always have been and will be slackers."

Ouch. Way to connect with the youth.

It used to be a time when reporters would make sure a story pans out before going nationwide with it but now these channels are no better than the National Enquirer, People, US magazines...report FIRST, investigate later. Maybe they feel they are playing catch up with the WorldWideWeb that they feel they have no room to do some genuine investigating stories, finding out if facts are facts and not exaggeration. I wanted to go into the news organization but I think I will stick with Public Relations.

Another thing I have noticed is how some of the correspondents are so dramatic, this again is leaning more toward "entertainment" than just giving it to us straight. I have noticed many times how they anchorman or anchorwoman hype up a story and when they switch to live coverage...nothing, nada, zip. I love how when they switch back to the person how you can see how embarrassed they are because what is happening in the news world is that they are doing what many people have been doing for over 10-20 years now, putting the cart before the horse. Maybe they think we can't deal with positive news or maybe they think we can't comprehend or maybe the[news organizations]know what I have known for years...many people have grown accustom to "doom and gloom" more so than seeing the world for what it truly is...imperfect.

I do not go around viewing the world with rose colored glassed but I do know there are people in this world that are hard working, honest, caring, loving, thoughtful, willing to lend a helping hand to their fellow neighbor. I am not saying not to be aware of your surroundings but if went by what CNN, FOX, MSNBC (and this is not including your local news) you would think you would need a guard dog, a Glock pistol, a taser, and mace 24/7.

What I have known and now have finally realize is that I need a couple of things to get me by...my faith in God, reading, praying, and living His Word, common sense, be willing to learn from the young and the old, good music, keeping healthy and surrounding myself with well, rounded, positive people[online and offline]. Every so often I turn on these channels to see if I'm missing anything and 5-10 minutes into it I realize, "Nope, not missing a thing". You have heard me say time and time again how I love the Weather Channel. Why? Because on the "Local 8s" they show the local weather and they play some of the best smooth jazz music...did you know there are CDs with some of the tunes the Weather Channel Play? Fo' real)

I love life. I don't walk through life blindly but after the election I have learned to keep myself informed with what is going on in the world(I love listening to *NPR, Market Place and other public radio programming) but not let the world rule me. I'm in the "world" but not "of" the world.

Be Blessed.

*this is not a plug for public radio but if it was I don't think anyone would mind

Devotional from Our Daily Bread: Gossip-Free Zone
Biblical Passage: Proverbs 25: 8-18

I know this is going to sound bias and I'm going to sound like a male chauvinist pig so I'm getting that out of the way right now but I often tell people that the only women I enjoy working around are geek women. With geek women gossip is truly at a minimum. They care about their appearance but I have never heard them tear down another woman, well at least while I'm around. They are not into dumb shows like Desperate Housewives, Girlfriends, Sex & the City, The Starters Wife (while USA Network airs that show I will never know), Tyler Perry movies...yes I said it.

Gossip is something I have heard men and women do from time to time and it's very easy to get caught up in it. Gossip is one of those subtle sins that before you know it you're right in the middle of that mess. You don't think you get caught up in it? Have you ever read PEOPLE, US, Star magazines? Have you ever watch any so called Reality shows?

*my hand goes up slowly

It's amazing so many things that are positive that surrounds us and many times we are drawn to the negative. There is the Travel Channel, Discovery Channel, TLC, National Geographic Channel, heck for me The Weather Channel is productive (they play some of the best smooth jazz when showcasing "The Local on the 8's"). Do you own a mp3 player? So many positive podcast are out here from pastor Greg Laurie, Paul Sheppard, Dr. Charles Stanley, David Jeremiah, Tony Evans, the late Adrian Rogers & Dr. J. Vernon McGee, Michael Yousef, James McDonald...and these are national pastors and I'm sure that there are local pastors in your area that great teachers of God's word. You have some great music podcast (mine included...hint, hint), great tech shows and yet we sometimes get sucked into the gossip abyss.

I love the book of Proverbs. If you ever want sound, no nonsense every day advice this is the book to read a chapter a day. So much is written about gossip because God knows that is where the majority of all problems begin...word of mouth. If we want our children, our grandchildren gossiping or talking ill of people we as adults must lead by example when it comes to what we read, what we watch, what we say. Let's begin to make our home, our speech a "Gossip-Free Zone".

Be Blessed, Be Safe,
& Have a Wonderful Monday

Christian Podcast to check out:
Thru the Bible Questions & Answers - Dr. J. Vernon McGee
Broadcast for Saturday, November 08, 2008

Tech Podcast to check out:
Windows Weekly 82: Pocket Paul
Hosts: Paul Thurrott with Leo Laporte

Reflections for Monday

RBC Monday Devotion: God’s Catalog
Bible Gateway Passage: John 17:20-26

I love this devotion for Monday. It sums up how we are to represent Jesus Christ. It makes me wonder what do we as Followers of Christ have to do to make non-believers see that being a Christian is a wonderful life.

One thing we should do as Followers of Christ is that to get across that we do not try and keep up with the "Jones" when it comes to material things. I am not saying we cannot have nice things but I think many times as Christians how we go about obtaining them is another matter. We now have this "have to have it NOW" attitude and not saving little by little is now a thing of the past. Have you noticed how many get into debt? Little by little. We have to get the attitude and discipline back that our parents and grandparents had. When you true want something, you have to sacrifice to achieve it. Still enjoy and appreciate what you have at the moment while at the same time striving for your goal.

Another thing we as Followers of Christ feel we have to do is blend in with the world. Christ Jesus wants us to be a shining light for Him. We are in this world but we are not to become of this world. We have to know when to act and when to just pray. Many times we as Christians allow ourselves to be sucked into the way the world lives and once that happens our creditability is gone. We have to know when to jump in, when to let go, when not to get involved altogether because it's easier to be pulled down than to pull someone out of the abyss. Our job is to plant the seed, another will come along and "water" the seed and God will take care of the rest.

Reading the devotion for this morning makes me realize I need to do more in regards to my prayer life, how I carry myself and cutting away from things on the web that has slowly taken me away from being a better disciple for my Lord and Savior.

Be Blessed, Be Safe,
& Have a Wonderful Monday.

Christian podcast to check out for Monday:  Thru the Bible Questions & Answers
tech podcast to check out for Monday: TWiT 167: More TWiT Than You Require

what started out as a hunt for one song turned into a flashback for me to 1979-1980. This was the tunes of a mixtape I made back in the day and I can't believe I remember the tracks I had on the cassette.

Enjoy

[to listen and download podcast| go here]
01. Just Remember I Love You-Firefall
02. Rebels Are We-Chic
03. Alligator Woman/Secrets Of Time-Cameo
04. Lil' Suzy-Ozone
05. Double Dutch Bus-Frankie Smith
06. Take Your Time (Do It Right)-The S.O.S. Band
07. Him-Rupert Holmes
08. My Feet Keep Dancing-Chic
09. Funkytown-Lipps Inc.
10. Steal Away-Robbie Dupree
11. Let Me Tickle Your Fancy-Jermaine Jackson
12. Buenos Aires-Festival
13. Don't Cry For Me Argentina-Festival

id drops: todd kelley, anewlis, ejflavors, macedonia

you can contact via twitter, pownce, facebook, last.fm

Sitting here early morning ready to post a link to share with all 200+ people in my twitter neighborhood and I'm getting the message I get at least twice a week, "Something went terribly wrong" or the new one, "Over capacity". Twitter has been around a little over a year now and it seems instead the quality of the application getting better it has become worse. Maybe the people over at twitter did not think it was take off as fast? Maybe people are trying to use it for what it is not? A while back I wrote a post on twitter and the other social networks and how i finally realized what is was and how to use it, or so I thought. Soon I became obsessed with twitter and more I used twitter the more I realized how time after time twitter was not stable. I mentioned yesterday how twitter is like this girlfriend that treats you like dirt but you keep allowing her in your home...this is what twitter is most of the time. Why do we keep coming back to it? It's not like we do not have other apps to use that are more stable. Heck, Pownce does not cap you at 140 characters, Jaiku is very stable but I guess us Americans are a glutton for punishment. Here is my "little two cents about twitter (again)...>>>more

When In Doubt--->more
devotion from rbc ministries

One of the most cool things about being a follower of Christ is that my Heavenly Father covers all questions of life for me...even when I doubt. Yes, I said the "D" word.

This devotion is a great one and I will keep a couple of this in my wallet along side the bible passage as well. We as Christians have doubts from time to time and again God knows because he created us. No, not to doubt Him and to be honest we would not have doubt but we live in a fallen world so we at one time was separated from God but through the blood of his Son we have that connection again, but again we still have human emotions, love, hate, sorrow, sadness, anger, doubt.

What this devotion is saying to me is that when we are by ourselves sometimes, when we are going through something that is so heavy on our heart we tend to ask God, "Where are you? Is this pain worth me going through? What's the deal?" and it's okay to have questions like that for our Heavenly Father because one of the most import things is that He wants that closeness with His children. He wants us to know that He is there for us every step of the way and that He ALWAYS sees the end results of what we are encountering certain situations.

Now this is not to say that God puts us in harms way for His amusement because He is not like that at all. There are things we go through to make us stronger and if we were truly honest with ourselves most times we go through certain "valleys" in our lives because of the choices we have made and not being obedient to God's word. I said "most" not all. What about those who have been raped, molested? I would never say God planned something like that because again God does not plan evil for our lives and He does not tempt us "just because." I can say this for myself...

Being a child of molestation and ridicule growing up because of my stuttering it has made me the man that I am. I try to be a man that is more compassionate when it comes to children that are talked to harshly. There is a difference between "disciplined" and just plain meanness toward a child. When our grandchildren are over I make sure they are a gift from God, they are blessed with certain talents, gifts to make this world a better place. I make sure that they check out their surroundings, be very observant, and try to instill in them that "words" do matter and that life is precious because if you teach them to love and respect themselves they will see others in the same light.

My pain has also taught me that when I come across someone that has difficult with their speech to have patience, compassion for them because I know how hard it is when you want to say something and the words cannot come out fast enough or you stumble and stuttered. It's makes life unbearable at times and you dread to have someone call on you to speak or to read out loud. I am so thankful that God has taught me how to deal with stuttering and how to put myself in their shoes when it comes to speech because some people will stutter and stammer over their words for the rest of their lives. Coming up with those two blows against me you know I cried out to God "why me?" How could he allow someone to violate me that way and how could he allow me not be able to speak like other children? You talk about doubt, it was there in Spades.

But I am older, and I am wiser and I realize God did not allow me to get molested because that was his plan...that evil act was done by that person because of their own free will and I know in the end God will deal with that person in His own way , His own time. God did not want me to be laughed at when it came to my speech because like I said earlier, when Adam and Eve allowed Satan to become the ruler of this world imperfect crept into this world: disease, evil thoughts, evil acts, jealousy, murder, greed and so forth. My stuttering allowed me to fight for me find a way to overcome it and to be able share with the world that it can be teach you that words are truly important and that in a weird way to let you know, "yes, words do matter.

When doubting God it does not make you less of a follower of Christ, but a better Christian because it will draw you closer to Him and you will want a closer relationship with your Heavenly Father and in return you will become a brighter light for Him in the end. So ask away..He's always willing to listen and help you through your rough patches in life.

Be Blessed, Be Safe,
& Have a Wonderful Monday

great messages for today:
Never Try to Catch a Falling Knife{Part I}{Part II}
A New Beginning-Greg Laurie

Thru the Bible Questions & Answers-o4.12.o8
Thru the Bible-Dr. J.Vernon McGee

~Samuel Johnson(1709-1784)
The Rambler

image:allposters.com

Hidden Depths

Why? Why? Oh, Why?>>>more
devotion from rbc ministries

This question has been ask by Christians and non-Christians, "Why does God allow suffering in our lives?" I'm not going to sit hear and say I have all the answers but I can tell you how I take disappointments in my life now. Even though times I may not like it, I may not agree with God's way of maturing me but I can say in the end it has made me a better person.

First and foremost I now step back and ask MYSELF, "Could I have had a different outcome if I would have chose a different path?" I say this because many times I could have had a better outcome if I would have listened and obeyed the Holy Spirit. I'm getting to the point now that I have to be honest with myself because most of the times I have brought this on myself and I have to take responsibility for my actions. Noticed I said most times because lets be honest, many times we do not want to do it God's way because (1) we do not like to admit we are not always in control (2) pride...plain and simple.

Sometimes God allows things to happen in my life because as the devotion says, sometimes we have to be matured in certain situations, certain trials because in the end it will make us a stronger Christian for His kingdom and we can also be there for someone who later down the road might be going through something similar. I am learning that when God is allowing something to happen in my life that may bring me pain I am learning when God allows this heartache it's only chastisement and not His wrath because if it was the latter I would have no where to turn because in the end I do not want him to turn me over to my own ways of living.

I remember being in the world and when this situation or that situation did not go my way I would cry out to Him and back then I thought I was being punished by God. But in essence God was trying to get me to come back into his loving arms because now that I look back they was nothing for me out in the clubs, trying to sleep with every woman I encounter; as the ol' folks would say to me, "there's nothin' out there those streets for you boy!" Having to go through trials and pain even as a Christian is not a fun thing to feel but saying to myself, "I don't understand why this is happening in my life at this moment God, but I know in the end it is for my own good." I have also learned that God will sometimes but rarely give me the answer to my "Why's" but he gives me the answer to my "What" questions. Many times God will flip the script and begin to ask me "Why" questions which I do not have the answers. I have stop asking why when my eyes were open in reference to reading the book of Job. If you noticed God never really answered Job questions but in the end Job understood what God was trying to bring out of him character wise and he[Job] also realized that God was with him throughout his ordeal. Painful for Job yes...did it make him a better person in the end...yes.

As a follower of Christ, next time instead of asking "why?" ask God, "What are you trying to have me do or learn from this situation?" The answer may just surprise you.

Be Blessed, Be Safe,
& Have a Wonderful Monday.

audio message for today...

John MacArthur

Separating from Unbelievers -- Part 2
John MacArthur{Grace To You}